I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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