he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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