Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
