I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
