I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
