I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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