i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
