I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
