Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
