hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
