Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
