I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
