I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
