i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
