I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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