The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
