You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
