yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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