She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
