ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
