Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
