he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
