all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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