So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
