Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
