My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
