so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
