yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
