your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish you could order shots online.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
