The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
