So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my sisters under your porch take her home
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
