My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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