i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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