is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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