I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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