It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
