This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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