Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
