Tell her she can't have a vagina
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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