so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
