Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
