you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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