i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
