I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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