Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
