winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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