tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
