my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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