i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
