Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
