THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
