i don't like sucking hair
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize