He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
