My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
