the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
