if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she woke up with a sticky ear
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
