He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
